It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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