My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
