I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
