areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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