i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
