Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
