Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
