Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
