4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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