ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
