Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
