So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize