You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
