Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize