All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
