You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
