Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize