Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
