we're blogging at a bar
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
