Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
