if you like me you must not know who I am
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
