This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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