I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
