4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
