# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
