also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you would pick up someone in the library
I've blown a few things in my day
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
