Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
