I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
