Pappa wants mamma naked
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I wish there were birth control emojis
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
