dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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