She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
