fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
