Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
