I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
