I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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