I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
