hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
