i will never coherently bang her
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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