HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
