Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
