She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
