should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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