I just made out with a guy for $7.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize