I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
