Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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