That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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