While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
do herpes really smell.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
