I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Randomize
