i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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