I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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