He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
