Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My vagina is officially offended.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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