As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just pee around me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
