I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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