So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
