I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Man, jail baloney is awful.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
