At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
