and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
