Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
