So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
