did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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