I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
