i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
