yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Watching her eat just hurts me
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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